My friend Stephen and I invented a cannon that could shoot teleporting orbs. We fired it at my mate Alex but it only teleported the top of his head, leaving him gurgling about like Britney Spears in South Park. We then went on an adventure to try and find his missing upper head and sew it back on, but we couldn't remember the coordinates of where we sent it to.
Who?
Nick Griffin is announced as the new Dr Who.
The Real Me
My ex-girlfriend and I are outside Burger King in Princess Street, Edinburgh, during some kind of political event. Barack Obama walks past and decides to talk to us. She is somewhat bumbly and flustered and the exchange peters out quite quickly. Then he turns to me, being his genial and affable self.
Me: Its okay you don't have to pretend to be yourself
Barry: People aren't ready for the real me
Me: (in Jack Nicholson voice) "You can't handle the truth"
Barry: lol
Civil War
And old friend and I were fighting in a civil war somewhere in Africa, but on different sides. He was trying to blow me up with a heat seeking bazooka whilst chortling like an utter bastard. But I foiled him and saved the day by sneaking up and twatting him on the back of the head SAS style.
Jailbreak
I am partaking in a jailbreak with rock legends ZZ Top.